Morning silence

via Sympathize

I stay in bed on the weekends.

I read my books, feel like I can understand

everything the characters feel,

laughing when they laugh, crying when they suffer.

I feel like I’m alone in the world,

no one to disturb my peaceful silent solitude,

and it’s surprisingly not lonely.

Don’t ask

via Sympathize

Don’t dare ask me what

it’s live to like this, it’s

empty sympathy.

Apricot Jam

via Puzzled

That morning I woke to the sight of mist.

It covered everything, it was within and without. The bed is warm and the room is cold, pale sunlight creeps in. When I finally rise, slowly as if I had become the mist moving quietly over the mountain, I look out my window. Seeing the solemn scene of trees and rock, hearing the depthless silence. I feel such peace here, in the stolen moments when no one and nothing imposes itself upon my attention.

The breakfast table has a clean white cloth, and the basket of bread, a teapot, a jar of apricot jam, a delicate china cup. Quaint. That’s the word that came to mind as I scraped the jam over the warm bread, my favorite jam, a part of the experience of the mountain in Dalaba that remains with me. A memory from my childhood that has faded and softened but has endured.

We walked to the courtyard, my beloved brother and I, and I saw the great tree embedded in the stone. The mist can be seen stretching out beyond the horizon from there, trees and branches are shadows within the grey sea.

It’s so lonely to look out at the expanse, so full of immense solitude.

The mist leaves me to puzzle all the riddles of my life, but is patient. Kind.

I could spend my life here and be content.

This is a memory I will keep for a lifetime, a mountain, apricot jam, and mist.

There is love

via Profuse

“Try,” they said.

As if finding someone to love was like picking flowers,

like choosing what music to dance to. 

Easy.

There is love in abundance, deep in my heart.

I know it may be difficult to dig for something that may be

far less valuable than gold,

but I refuse to give up my love to anyone who won’t fight for it.

“Try,” they said.

“Why don’t you,” I replied.

Gold frame glasses

via Conveyor

A friend of mine told me

these glasses conveyed a more kindly message.

That they were gentler on the eyes, warmer.

I told him,

‘maybe now people will stop being afraid.’

‘Maybe now people will see I can be soft, too.’

Like Baobab trees

via Cavity
 

I remember drinking baobab juice when I was small,

when we visited our home away from home.

The sweetness clung to the back of my throat

while you screamed at my brother inside.

I’m surprised I didn’t get a cavity that summer.

The elephant in the room I ignored while sipping my juice,

large as a baobab tree with roots twice as deep.

 

 

Smothered by a silk pillow

via Stifle

Fibromyalgia is more than just pain.

It’s feeling like everything is slowly slipping away from you because you’re not fast enough. It’s the panic that creeps up on you, bit by bit until it stifles you completely. It’s making decisions that feel like you’re quitting even though you’re doing it for your health. Then doubting yourself, unsure if you’re just afraid to fail. It’s disappointing everyone you love in some way, and then disappointing yourself. It’s making sacrifices that hurt your pride and leave a bitter taste in your mouth. It’s giving up things you love because you just don’t think you can do it anymore. It’s having to act like you’re 60 when you’re 19 to make sure you don’t overtire yourself. It’s having to realize that at 19 you can overtire yourself. It’s the fear of having to explain why you can’t do something anymore because you don’t know how people will understand that even stress alone terrifies you because of the pain that it entails.

Having fibromyalgia is like being smothered by a silk pillow.

Gentle, slow, but no less suffocating.

The Commander Quill Award

 

I was nominated by an amazing blog Tinte for the Commander Quill Award. I’m really thankful to be considered for this award and to be recommended by such a great writer.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I am Swedish, Finnish, Afro-Carribean, Senegalese, and Guinean. There’s too many anthems to have in one post so I’m just going to put links to all the anthems. Personally, the Finnish anthem is my favorite just because it sounds so pretty.

Finnish

Swedish

Bahamas

Senegal

Guinea

“After silence, and all that is carried inside of it, there is a kingdom in your name.”

-Lisa Marie Basile from ‘Trionfo della morte’

I nominate these followers of mine who I really appreciate:

https://maupad.wordpress.com/

https://simplyexpressedfeelings.wordpress.com/

https://cyphrinitiative.wordpress.com/

 

Rules for Commander Quill Award:

1. Create a new post thanking the person who nominated you, link their blog. 

2. List the rules of the award. 

3. Post a photo of your National flag and anthem. 

4. Leave a favorite quote.

5. Nominate a few Loyal bloggers. 

The Liebster Award

The Liebster Award Guidelines

I was nominated by Mum is failing at life for the Liebster award (her blog is great by the way!) and I think this award is a great way to make new bloggers feel included in a community. I started this blog as a place to hopefully have a place to give my writing a wider audience and I realized it was much more community involvement to have a blog than I would have thought. I hope this nomination allows me to make new friends to share content with.

These are my answers to her questions:

1 – If you had the chance to have a conversation with someone from your past or present, who would it be? Why? And what would you say?

I would want to talk to my mom when she was in college, it just seems like she would be a lot different when she was younger and I’d love to ask her what she thought about life to see how her views had changed when she got older.

2 – If you could do something without risk, fear or consequences , what would it be?

I would probably be a lot less shy about romantic issues, it seems whenever I’m interested in someone I close up and practically die of embarrassment every five minutes. So I’d probably call the people I like more or go visit them and not let shyness or anything else get in the way.

3 – If you could live a day in someone else’s shoes, who would it be and why?

I would want to live in the shoes of one of my favorite authors, maybe Galen Foley or Catherynne Valente, to see what it’s like to live a life that inspires such great stories like Deathless or the Lord of Ice.

4 – What would be your dream job?

To be a writer. I’ve loved writing stories since I was a kid and when I found out that there’s people who get paid to write I thought it was perfect. So being able to do what I love and supporting myself would be my ideal job.

5 – Where in the world would you say is your “safe” place?

With people I can be comfortable with, anywhere that might be. My friends and family that make me feel safe, that’s my safe place.

6 – My mum is always full of useless information. What is your favourite useless fact that you like to share?

Scuba is an acronym for self contained underwater breathing apparatus.

7 – Have you ever been caught out and believed something that was obviously (after being laughed at) made up? If not, have you ever caught someone out? What did you tell them?

I believed that miscellaneous meant some kind of witchcraft, so when I was little I used to call it the voodoo section of the grocerie store.

8 – What’s the worst gift you’ve ever received? How did you react?

I got this hideous dress from a woman I didn’t really like, and it was pink and terrible. But I just told her it was nice and put it away because I was about 12 and my parent’s would’ve killed me if I was rude.

9 – What do you find most challenging?

Getting out my own thoughts, I think too much and end up inactive for fear of my actions having negative actions. Stopping my anxiety from taking over my thoughts and keeping me from doing what I want to do is what I find challenging.

10 – where do you keep your plastic bags? (Personal family conundrum)

On the knobs of the cabinets beneath the island in my kitchen. (Which, now that I think about it, is both an odd and very specific place to put plastic bags.)

11 – How do you make people feel loved?

Romantically: I try to talk to them, give them my time and attention (maybe a kiss if I’m feeling brave.)

Platonically: Make sure when we’re speaking to focus on them and most often my way of showing affection is feeding them.

Now for my nominations, I choose (and I hope I’m doing this right):

Samara’s Insights

Light up the Dark

Tinte

Silas

Everyday Lives

The Abstract Mind

Allele

Simply Expressed Feelings

Delicate Fighter

I am Lulugin

Kavara Stories

My questions are:

1- What scent reminds you of home and why?

2- What color lights do you like on your Christmas tree? Colored, yellow, or white?

3- Silk robes or big comfy winter robes? Why?

4- How do you define a good friend?

5- What is the thing you think sticks out most about the way you treat people?

6- If you were able to erase one memory to gain one back that you forgot, which memory would you give up, and which one would you want back?

7- What book (or thing/activity) that is considered boring (maybe by other people) do you really enjoy?

8- Do you like American cartoon styles or anime?

9- What foreign music do you enjoy?

10- If you could visit one place at one specific time (past or present) where and when would you go?

11- If your blog was a person what would they look like?

A memory

I remember the rain in the fall, and I remember wanting to sit on this bench and do nothing but listen. I wish I had.

%d bloggers like this: